Are you failing yourself or failing society? How to let yourself be proud of you.
Feelings of disappointment or frustration are so incredibly common when we, as students, business owners or otherwise, don’t get the desired result from a concerted effort in something. This is especially true in academic or professional settings, where performance is measured and graded.
There is no easy ‘fool-proof’ method to stop us from feeling disappointed when things don’t go the way we planned. But what we can do, is ‘take the best – dump the rest’. Here are some of our tried and tested methods to alleviate some of that stress that we are sometimes too willing to put on ourselves when facing disappointment.
Are you studying too hard? Do you feel like you understand the material and know the domain but are then somehow either unable to access your knowledge in an exam situation (e.g., in a multiple-choice examination), or able to access your knowledge but unable to express yourself coherently in an exam (e.g., with essay format answers)? Sometimes, it’s worth taking a step back and thinking “am I stressed because I don’t think I will do well” or “am I stressed because I want to do well”.
There is an important difference between the two here.
Being anxious that you don’t think you will do well might come from a lack of preparation. Giving yourself time (and enough time, that is) before the exam or checkpoint to prepare resources, revise subject matter and understand the content will alleviate so much of that worry. Sometimes you have to be real with yourself and ask ‘have I done enough to achieve my desired result’? It sounds harsh, but the more we lie to ourselves, the worse the outcome will be.
Make use of the people around you that are there to help you – though this can be a difficult thing in itself, find ways (emails, having someone else ask for you, online forums) to communicate your difficulties. It might just change your life.
Being anxious because you want to do well is a whole other ball game. Personally, I think this is a better way to be stressed – if there is in fact a ‘better way’.
Wanting the best for yourself shows that you care.
That you care about your future and your present. Instead of letting this kind of stress de-stabilise you, use it as ammunition. Use it to push yourself further and reach the heights of achievement that you desire. Instead of stressing about the ‘what if’, want the ‘it will be’.
Despite all of this - it's essential to remember that one grade does not define your worth or potential. One season of examinations do not determine the rest of your life. Often, we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves to make ourselves ‘fit in’ with what society deems an ‘achievement’. What even is that? An ‘achievement’? To us, it’s being proud of yourself for something, big or small.
Personal achievements should always outweigh societal because, at the end of the day, who are you really living for – you? Or them? Make your choice.
Grades are just one aspect of your academic or professional journey. Your worth and potential extend far beyond a single grade and each experience, whether successful or challenging, contributes to your growth and development. Focus on continuous learning, improvement, and resilience, and you'll find that setbacks can be valuable steppingstones toward future success
Instead of equating grades with personal success or failure, focus on the effort you put in, the lessons you learned, and the progress you made.
Your value goes beyond any grade, and every experience, whether positive or challenging, contributes to your growth and development.
It is always better to shift your perspective, set realistic expectations, seek feedback, focus on strength and explore additional resources.
Embracing a growth mindset and focusing on learning, progress, and personal development are key to feeling fulfilled and successful regardless of grades.
Take the best and DUMP THE REST!
